The art of leadership

I have never been a leader in my comfort zones. But the art of leadership is articulated in many books, to my questioning their viability. However, I have found myself questioning as well the ability of leaders within my zone. How I got the to question everything, I do not understand because I have no flipping idea how it is like to be in a leadership position.
I cannot limit myself to giving preffered style of leadership, provided I was a leader of some sort. Political leadership is the most complicated of them all. People, in politics, have to raise their issues without fear repudiation. I imagine, in vain, a political meeting where issues and direction that should be taken, how I can control the situation which become unsettling. Therefore, the art of persuasion becomes the only reason why I should gain perspective to ensure the issues on the agenda get resolved with diligent satisfaction. I'm boldly stating that persuasion is an effective and efficient method that the true art of leadership requires. I have doubts about my ability to have influence and win the confidence of others.
Firstly, my communication can easily become an emotional baggage. Some people can assert that I have leadership, but how do they validate their conclusion surprise me. I have come to regard myself as an insignificant individual who has unrealistic perception about himself and his abilities. Secondly, my need to be have lovable power elude me. Power to me is about people understanding when they can push me. I can confidently assert I'm stubborn enough to hate taking orders from others. But lately, I have felt very much soft and rather being taken advantage of as a consequence.
I do not think averyone can be a leader, myself included. But I'm bad in taking advise, as well.
My ideal quality of leadership: To make people love themselves. My listening to them and have them do whatever they like thereafter without asking me to do it for them. Have them know what they need to achieve and let them find the how.
This remain an ideal since I can not make out why I'm sometimes moody and feel good about it and that does not make me an ideal candidate for leadership position. Another factor is my looth for conversations which relate to anything about anyone. What I know is that I have my own preferences. The phrase by John Nash, from the movie, A beautiful mind, I have come to relate to. He stated,'I do not like people much, but I also found out that people do not like me much either.' I also have insecurities that I cannot figure out. For instance, I have set myself an impressive plan to date nice women, but till now, I have not managed to make a move on anyone. How unrealistic! My selfishness, entreched impatience and confusion have become part of my leading my life. In my thinking I cannot bear the good thing about life, let alone a good advise, becuase I just, without reason, can't. It's like saying 'I want to be good, but I seem not to get to goodness.'